Falling Out of Love With My Twin Flame

Reclaiming My Rhythm: Day 17 of My Cycle

You felt like the answer
to a question I didn’t know I was asking.
Like something ancient waking up in me,
electric and wild.
We saw each other
in ways no one else had dared to.
You made me feel
both deeply known
and impossibly far away.

I fell fast
too fast, if I’m honest.
Not because I wasn’t scared,
but because I thought
this time it would be different.
You seemed like home
and a storm
all at once.
And I wanted both.

I gave too much.
Not out of desperation
but hope.
Out of some deep belief
that love meant surrendering,
even when I wasn’t being chosen back.

I kept thinking
if I stayed soft enough,
brave enough,
patient enough
you’d meet me there.

But you didn’t.
And I kept pretending that wasn’t the truth.

It’s taken me time to admit
that I was chasing a version of you
that only existed in my longing.
That what I called passion
was sometimes just pain
I didn’t want to name.

Now I want something different.
Still deep, still real
but rooted.
I want the kind of love
that doesn’t make me question
my worth.
The kind that stays
when the spark fades,
that doesn’t vanish
when I stop shining.

I still ache sometimes
when I think of you.
But the ache is quieter now
more like gratitude
than grief.

You were a turning point,
not a destination.

And I’m finally learning
how to walk
without looking back.

San Diego, 2021.